The Power of Values: A Guide to Living a Purposeful Life
What are Values?
Values are the fundamental principles and beliefs that guide our actions and decisions, serving as the roots on which we stand. They are the most important things to us that remain unchanging regardless of life circumstances. Imagine a thief coming up to you with a gun and demanding your wallet. Most people would hand it over without hesitation. But what if that thief demanded your ability to have a happy, loving marriage? Or asked for your son or daughter? The answer for most would be a resounding "no." We are willing to fight for the deepest things that matter to us. These are our values.
Why Are Values Important?
As the famous quote by Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." If you do not know what you stand for, you will fall for anything. Determining your values simplifies life by providing clarity on what to say "yes" to and what to say "no" to in a highly complicated world. Our world is littered with distractions, trying to get you to think "the right way," but most of society has not taken the time to evaluate what is truly important to them. They live a life they ultimately regret as the years go on.
Tan and I went on a trip to New Orleans with some business colleagues a few years ago and did our own exploring for the first few days. It is a beautiful city, rich with legends, tales, and gorgeous infrastructure. However, we had a friend take us out for the remaining few days of our trip, and it was comical just how much we had missed observing on our own. He knew so much about the city and its history that it felt like we took a college-level history class over those couple of days with him. It was a completely different experience when we had our tour guide showing us all the historical places we would have missed because we didn't know where to look or what to see. This is the power of knowing your values as well. You will know where to look and what to see when these become clear to you. Just as a tour guide helped us navigate and appreciate the richness of New Orleans, our values helped us navigate and appreciate the richness of life, guiding us through the distractions and complexities.
When you don't stand on values, you become a chameleon, accidentally blending into your peer group or workplace. You were made to stand out and lead! The danger of weapons of mass destruction is worrying, but even greater is the danger of weapons of mass distraction, pulling, prying, and pressuring you to abandon your values. In this complex world, knowing what is truly important to you becomes your tour guide through life.
Defining Your Values
Your list of values will always be evolving, but your core, perhaps 4-5 values, generally stay the same and are your biggest roots. When we sat down as a couple, we found we shared the same core values, which is very helpful in a marriage. You don't have to have the same values as us or the person next to you, but here’s how we determined ours:
Our Core Values:
1. Faith in Jesus Christ: Our foremost value. We believe we were born on purpose, with a purpose, to bring love, hope, peace, and joy into the world. Our faith guides all our other values. We started by contemplating mortality—if we were to die today, what would be the meaning of our lives, and would there be life after death? This reflection led us to our faith as the most important value.
2. Marriage: The closest relationship on earth. We aim for happiness and fulfillment in our relationship as husband and wife. We knew that the earthly person we'd spend the most time with would be each other. Thus, our marriage became a top priority, ensuring that it remains a source of joy and strength.
3. Parenting: Raising world changers. We focus on helping our kids know who they are, their strengths and weaknesses, and growing into strong leaders of the next generation. Our focus in life is not money; it's raising children who are confident, self-aware, and capable of making a positive impact on the world.
4. Financial Freedom: Having more money allows us to bless more people and live without financial limits, thereby increasing our opportunities to make a significant impact. We believe that financial freedom provides the means to pursue our other values more fully and to help others in meaningful ways.
5. Significance: Pouring our lives into helping others grow. We aim to make a lasting impact on the people we mentor. Our desire is to pour out our lives into helping those who want to grow, ensuring that our legacy is one of positive influence and empowerment.
6. Health: Honoring the body God gave us through fitness and nutrition. We believe that taking care of our physical health is essential to living a full and productive life, allowing us to better serve our family, friends, and community.
Living According to Your Values
Now that you have your core values, they provide clear "yes" or "no" answers to life's distractions. For example:
Parenting: "Matt and Tan, aren't you worried about when your kids become teenagers?" Our answer is no. It's our value to raise amazing kids, so we focus on speaking positivity over them and preparing them for their future rather than fearing it.
Marriage: "Do you go to counseling or have mentors for your marriage?" Absolutely! If our marriage is our number one relationship on earth, why wouldn’t we do everything in our power to make it the best one?
Financial Freedom: "All my friends seem to be having more fun than me… Is building my business during evenings and weekends really worth it?" Without a doubt. It's important not to confuse family leisure with family legacy. We work hard in the short term so we can have a life of freedom in the long term. Sacrifice is essential in setting yourself apart from the masses, and it will always pay off if you grow and don’t quit. By prioritizing financial freedom now, you are laying the groundwork for a future where you and your family can enjoy the fruits of your labor without the constraints of financial limitations. This dedication ensures that your legacy is one of strength, stability, and the ability to make meaningful choices for generations to come.
What decisions will add to your values, and which will subtract from them? The more decisions that add to your values, the more you live your life. The more decisions you make against your values, the more you are deconstructing the life you truly value and ultimately living lost. Say “YES” to the things that add and say “NO” to the things that subtract to your values.
John C. Maxwell says in "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth," "In order to grow yourself, you need to know yourself." Spend time on this. It's not about getting it right; it's about refining it over time. Life is not about arriving; it’s about the process of growth and stretching to be better every day, for the rest of your life. The only finish line is the end, and we want you to end well!
We love you!
Matt and Tan Walker