The Harmony of Business and Marriage: How We Protect Our Relationship While Thriving as Business Partners
Even before we officially became partners in life and business, Matt and I understood the importance of safeguarding our relationship and keeping our marriage sacred. We knew that blending the personal and professional would bring unique challenges, but we believed it could also become a source of strength—and it absolutely has.
Now, ten years into marriage and business partnership, with three beautiful children (and soon fostering another), we’ve built a business that has not only helped us grow as entrepreneurs but also deepened our connection as a couple. It’s easy to assume that building a family business means more time together, but the truth is, time doesn’t always equate to quality. We’ve had to learn how to be intentional, ensuring both our business and marriage thrive—without one being sacrificed for the other.
Choosing the Right Partner for Life—Not Just Business
In my late 20s, I made a firm decision: I would rather live a meaningful, beautiful life on my own than compromise with a partner who didn’t align with my vision for the future. I knew the life I wanted to build was too important to be shaped by someone who didn’t share my values and dreams. So, I focused on laying the groundwork for our family business as a single woman, trusting that when the time was right, God would introduce me to the right person to share it with. I even prayed for someone who would have a knack for handling the details—like managing taxes and navigating airports!
When I met Matt, I knew he was different. He embodied the qualities I had been waiting for—faith, integrity, shared ambition, and the ability to laugh through life’s challenges. I am so grateful that Matt is incredible in airports, and we’ve hired someone to do our taxes! The blessings come in many forms! I didn’t choose him just because he was driven to build a business, but because he shared my vision for a meaningful life. His strength and leadership complemented mine, and together we aligned not just in goals but in purpose. I wanted a partner with whom I could come alive in the pursuit of God’s plan—and with Matt, that’s exactly what I found. We still carry that same fire today, fueling both our family and our work.
The Journey to Productivity: How We Learned to Work Effectively Together
Productivity, especially when working alongside your spouse, is a skill that takes time and intentionality to cultivate. For Matt and me, it wasn’t an easy process—it was a journey! Early in our relationship, we each had our own ways of doing things. I had spent five years running things independently, and when we began building a business together, we quickly realized we had different definitions of productivity. Matt is naturally gifted in strategic thinking and leadership—he’s a brilliant critical thinker. But in the beginning, I didn’t fully appreciate these strengths.
Over time, we learned that collaboration happens when we focus on each other’s strengths, not on correcting perceived weaknesses. We discovered that leaning into each other’s gifts elevated our productivity as a couple, and that mindset shift has been essential in everything we do.
We’ve also developed boundaries and principles to help us navigate business conversations amidst the chaos of family life, ensuring that our time together remains productive. Here are the top three strategies that have kept us aligned:
1. Catching with Soft Hands
This principle has been one of the most transformative changes we’ve made. Imagine us out in the yard tossing a baseball back and forth. The expectation is that when I throw the ball, Matt will catch it, take it out of his glove, and toss it back. But if Matt suddenly grabs a bat and hits the ball over the neighbor’s fence, I’d be shocked!
A conversation can feel just like that. For example, if I share an idea with enthusiasm, and Matt immediately dismisses it—saying, “That won’t work”—it can feel like he hit the ball over the fence. He might be right, but I was trying to be creative and find a solution.
“Catching with soft hands” allows for conversations where both of us feel heard and respected. Instead of dismissing each other’s ideas, we ask questions like, “Tell me more about that” or “This sounds important to you; I’d like to understand.” This approach keeps the conversation productive and prevents unnecessary conflict, allowing us to work through ideas together.
2. Who’s Doing What? By When? And How Are We Following Up?
This simple but powerful question saves us time and avoids confusion. In family-business partnerships, random tasks often pop up during casual moments, like on a drive to the grocery store. One of us might say, “We need to call Jordan and Leah about dinner on the 9th.” But without clarity, it’s easy for things to slip through the cracks—each of us assuming the other took care of it.
A quick conversation about who will handle the task, by when, and how we’ll follow up ensures nothing gets missed. It’s not about assigning blame—it’s about taking ownership. If one of us needs help, we step in with love, not criticism, saying, “Hey, I noticed this didn’t get done. Do you need support?” There’s no room for shame here—only partnership.
3. Creating Space to Thrive
Space is essential for creativity and productivity. If every moment of life is rushed and filled with distractions, it’s impossible to move the needle toward meaningful goals. This has been one of my biggest challenges as a mom and entrepreneur—finding space to create while balancing both roles.
As parents, we’ve made intentional choices to create space where we can thrive. For example, we carefully selected the right school for our children to free up focused time. Matt maximizes his travel by brainstorming and planning while on the road. For me, I thrive in coffee shops where I’m free from the distractions of home. Having this space allows us to show up better as parents, partners, and creators.
In Closing: Aligning Love and Purpose
Building a business and a marriage together isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. We’ve learned that success in both arenas requires intentional communication, mutual respect, and creating room for each other to shine. It’s not just about managing tasks or building ventures—it’s about aligning our hearts and purposes in everything we do.
By learning to catch with soft hands, clearly defining responsibilities, and creating space to thrive, we’ve been able to protect our relationship while building something meaningful. And that same fire that brought us together continues to guide us—whether in business, marriage, or family life.